Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Transformers 4 Trailer Breakdown Part 2

Here's the 2 1/2 minute trailer for Transformers 4: Age of Extinction!

The trailer starts off reminding us that this is not a reboot, it's a continuation because the attack in Chicago in Dark of the Moon happened. It unfortunately also reminds us that Dark of the Moon happened and is still a pretty bad movie. If you call the number on the billboard 855-363-8392, you get an automated message urging you to stay away from all Transformers and directs you to a website,

Mark Wahlberg is our new hero, and as my friend Christian calls it, an improvement over Shia LaBeouf.

Optimus Prime looks like he's fallen on hard times. He even changed his vehicle mode back to his G1 truck.

Is anything more American than welding with an American flag on your welding mask?

Here's Nicola Peltz, who play's Mark Wahberg's daughter, and is possible jailbait. Wait, she's 19, you may continue ogling.

Seriously Optimus, what the hell happened to you? You only lost an arm in Dark of the Moon. So instead of being about a boy and his car, this movie is going to be about a man and his truck?

Optimus still has some "spark" in him!

In his most Mark Wahlberg-iest voice, "I think we just found a Transformer!"

Scary men in black polos & v-necks with guns. Hey! It's Titus Welliver, the literal Man in Black from LOST.

You know these are bad guys guys who mean business because they pick on young women.

Optimus is having none of that as he comes barreling out of the barn.

When Kelsey Grammar says "the age of the Transformers is over" and Crosshairs is getting wasted, doesn't it feel a little like Order 66 is being executed by the Emperor in Revenge of the Sith?

Here we have Bumblebee as always, and a new Decepticon named Stinger who transforms into a Pagani Huayra. He looks kind of like Knock Out from Transformers: Prime.

Stanley Tucci sets up what will probably be the big "eating crow" moment in the film when he says of the Transformers, "We don't need you anymore." Well, when Galvatron comes, let's see if you regret saying that.

Big Transformers ships in space descending on Earth?

I seriously thought this was Hedorah, the Smog Monster from the Godzilla franchise.

Galvatron has landed?

This guy's face (Lockdown?) literally transforms into a gun.

Running people in Hong Kong. Is it really that cheap to shoot there? Or is this a ploy to tap into the Chinese market? Or maybe it's both?

A giant Decepticon ship sucking up boats and buildings. Much like Unicron would do... Hmmm...

Bumblebee doing his thing in battle.

Mark Wahlberg (with an alien gun) and Jack Reynor who plays Mark's daughter's boyfriend.

Yup, pretty sure Stanley regrets it.


Bumblebee and a two-headed flying dinobot?

Me Grimlock say objects in mirror are closer than they appear.

Optimus Prime cleans up pretty nicely.

And he carries a big sword with him now as he knocks Grimlock on his ass.

Poor Grimlock. Well you gotta break 'em before you can ride 'em right?

I'm actually excited to see another Transformers film. I know the last film was a huge mess, and Michael Bay isn't the best director, but I'm glad the franchise is still alive and media is still being produced for it. I just hope it doesn't turn into humans fighting Transformers again. All I'm hoping for is 55% on Rotten Tomatoes. That's a low enough bar right?

Transformers 4: Age of Extinction opens June 27th.

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