Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Game of Thrones: The Lion and the Rose

When you get an episode of Game of Thrones written by George R.R. Martin, it tends to be really, really good. The Lion and the Rose definitely did not disappoint.

Note: I haven't read the books so any commentary I make is completely based on the show.

Warning: There are major spoilers from the episode below!

It's a Barbecue!

And infidels are on the menu, marshmallows not included. Over in Dragonstone, Melisandre really has Stannis by the cojones as anybody who doesn't pledge allegiance to the Lord of Light gets burned at the stake. And Stannis' brother-in-law, Ser Axell Florent, the dude that provided Stannis a crap ton of ships paid the price.

When Did We Land in Oz?

Bran is still on his vision quest and he sees tons them at a Heart Tree the most interesting of which are the Iron Throne room covered in snow (or is it ash?) and King's Landing with an ominous shadow flying overhead. Is Bran seeing visions of Dany's dragons laying siege to King's Landing? And wouldn't that be just freaking awesome?

The Breakfast of Chumpions

Joffrey you little prat. When he received Tyrion's gift, he displayed what seemed like genuine sincerity. It even looked like Tyrion was fooled a bit. Maybe he's as naive as Sansa used to be, and that's not a good thing if Tyrion is losing his edge. So when Joffrey hacked that book to shreds with his new sword, everyone realized once a bad egg, always a bad egg. And that egg just continues to get more and more rotten.

The Purple Wedding

Okay, I think I've buried the lead enough. How many times have you watched it? I've probably replayed it 6 or 7 times. No, not the episode, just this scene. Hmmmm, does that make me as bad as Joffrey? Anyway, the King is dead! After Joffrey brought out the entertainment- dwarves "reenacting" the War of the Five Kings, (one of the most surreal things I've seen BTW) he put on a horrid display of behavior directed at his Uncle Tyrion. After eating some dry pie and washing it down with some wine from his new cup bearer, Joffrey gave the universal choking sign and the world had the exact opposite reaction of the Red Wedding. Apparently they don't have the Heimlich in King's Landing. If you look at the guests' reactions, do they look panicked or relieved that someone finally got this sadistic idiot? And is it really surprising that the only ones to rush to his aid were his parents? Dying in his mother's arms, his last act was to point to Tyrion. And Cersei did the only thing she could do, have Tyrion arrested.

So now we're in a quandary. While the inbred king has finally gotten his comeuppance to the delight of millions of GoT fans, it doesn't look good for fan favorite Tyrion. This of course explains why he was in shackles in the previews. How is Tyrion going to talk/bribe his way out of this one? And I doubt they have a C.S.I. Westeros to help clear his name. And who are we going to direct our ire at now?

This Asshole, This Bastard, and This Douchebag

Roose Bolton, Ramsey Snow, and Locke are all pieces of work. Last season Ramsey chopped off Theon's manhood and turned him into "Reek." And this episode started with him hunting down a woman in the forest. What a sadistic son of a bitch. And it's completely obvious that he gets his temperament from his father, Roose Bolton. Their sigil is a freaking flayed man! But does Roose really have any control over his men? I mean Ramsey turned Roose's bargaining chip into a eunuch, and Locke hacked off the Kingslayer's hand. This flaying thing is flat out disgusting and Dreadfort is just a massively depressing place to be.

And of Course, the Mother of Madness

There's always mommy dearest left to hate. Is there anybody she didn't threaten this week? Maester Pycelle, Brienne, the poor dude in charge of leftovers. Her relationship with Joffrey makes the one in Psycho look almost pedestrian. And now, she'll be a one woman army trying to lop off the head of Tyrion, after her son got Charlie and the Chocolate Factoried. Yes, I just turned that into a verb and I'm very happy about it. :)

The Drunk Knight

And how about a hand for Ser Dontos because it seems like he's the one who shuffled Joffrey off his mortal coil. I really was wondering why he was in the previous episode as his scene seemed so random. But now I realize it was to show off his amazing drunk ninja skills. Two Lannisters with one cup of poison. This guy is no fool.

So what did you think? Shocked? Elated? Best episode ever?

Just remember, when this song starts playing, leave whatever party you're at. Shit's about to go down.

1 comment:

  1. The Boltons are a bunch of scumbags, loyal to no one. Roose, the main betrayer, who stabbed Robb Stark in the heart. I didn't understand their reason for betrayal until I read the wiki on House Bolton. That's some patience for revenge in a huge way.
    Ser Dontos' appearance in the season premiere had me confused until his re-appearance here. But Dontos hardly seems the type to orchestrate this by himself. Wonder who else was involved in Joffrey's death. Hmm.
    I've not read the books either. So there's some fun in wondering who will take the now-empty throne.
    This was a fun episode. Good ride.
    -Lynn H.