Monday, May 2, 2016

So THAT Happened on Game of Thrones

Game of Thrones season 6 is only two episodes old and boy they did not make us wait too long. But you know what? I will. Let's recap what's been going on in the realm.


Captured by a Dothraki horde, Dany avoids being raped but must live out her life in Vaes Dothrak, kind of a retirement home for widows of Khals. The good news is Daario and Jorah are still looking for her and apparently have really good tracking skills.



Dany's fleet has been destroyed, and Tyrion continues to drink. All the cities that Dany freed have been retaken by the Masters. Tyrion comes up with a brilliant but dangerous plan to unchain the dragons. Is this step one in seeing Tyrion ride a dragon?


Still blind, Arya undergoes her "Daredevil" training. Unfortunately she does extremely poorly until Jaqen comes by and tests her. She passes the test and can stop being a beggar.

The Sand Snakes

The shit hit the fan in Dorne. Ellaria and Tyene murdered Prince Doran and his captain of the guard. Meanwhile Obara and Nymeria murdered Trystane, Doran's son.

Cersei & Jaime

Cersei mourns Myrcella's death while Jaime and the High Sparrow square off in the Great Sept. The Faith Militant seems to be a growing power.


The Queen is still locked up being harassed by the nun from hell until she confesses her knowledge of her brother's secret life.


Captain Phasma to the rescue! Sansa finally comes to her senses and accepts Brienne's protection. They plan to head to Castle Black while Theon plans to go home to the Iron Islands.


Introducing the new Joffrey. This sick little shit murdered his father and literally released the hounds on his step-mother and new baby brother, securing his spot as Lord of House Bolton and Winterfell.

The Greyjoys

You know, for a family with "joy" in their name, there certainly is none of it present. Anyway, Balon gets killed by Euron, his younger brother- I had to look that up. And Yara and Euron will probably end up vying for lordship of House Greyjoy in the Kingsmoot, a kind of "election" process which probably involves a lot of killing.


Oh yeah, Bran is still a part of this show. He's having a better go at his training than Arya having a literal stroll down memory lane seeing his father, uncle and aunt in a flashback and also learning that Hodor's name used to be Wyllis and that he could speak normally.

Jon Snow

Game of Thrones just turned into The Princess Bride. With Davos and some loyal crows protecting Jon Snow's body, old lady Melisandre tries to work her magic. I was half expecting him to mutter "true love" with Melisandre claiming he said, "to blathe." Which is pretty much what this was! Not since J.J. Abrams denied Benedict Cumberbatch was Khan, has a secret been so poorly kept. But in this instance, I think the vast majority of us welcome Jon's return!


And here's the preview for episode 3 titled, Oathbreaker.

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