Friday, November 28, 2014

The Force Awakens: Teaser Breakdown

If you've been a good little Star Wars fan, you've already seen the first teaser trailer for The Force Awakens.

Now let's take a closer look at what nerds will be poring over and over-analyzing until the next trailer comes out. Hey! I'm not judging, I'm one of those nerds!

The trailer opens on what appears to be the sandy dunes of Tatooine. And an ominous voice says, "There has been an awakening. Have you felt it?"

New cast member John Boyega pops up into frame dressed as a Stormtrooper. His role still hasn't been disclosed so we still need to speculate on whether he's really a Stormtrooper or just disguised as one. My money is on disguise. And I'll be honest. This scene reminds of when Dark Helmet ordered his Spaceballs to "comb the desert."

A new kind of droid which looks to be way more mobile than R2-D2. FYI, the music playing is The Pit of Carkoon/Sail Barge Assault from Return of the Jedi, and was parodied pretty mercilessly by Family Guy with excessive head nodding.

The new Stormtrooper helmet design is seen on an army of troopers on a transport barge.

Which is about to deploy them to who knows where?

New cast member Daisy Ridley shows up dressed in desert gear. Her role is undisclosed as well, but it looks like she's on Tatooine.

Trying to start her vehicle.

Off she goes, and she's apparently trying to get away from something.

Her vehicle looks like a land speeder on its side.

But it doesn't look like it's as fast as a land speeder.

Cockpit shot of a rebel alliance pilot. Not sure who the actor is.
Update: The actor seems to be Oscar Isaac, who just nabbed the role of Apocalypse in the next X-Men film.

X-Wings skimming the water. Interesting to note that X-Wings are used mainly for deep space combat. I've never seen them used on a planet for fighting. Only transport.

A third X-Wing joins the battalion.

A hooded, shadowy figure walks through a snowy forest and activates his lightsaber. It's red denoting Sith, plus it has two additional smaller light protrusions where the sword guard would normally be. Here's your Darth Maul double-bladed lightsaber moment. And the voice from before says, "The Dark side. And the Light."

Cue the Star Wars fanfare as the Millennium Falcon soars upwards through the sky.

Only to dive back down and engage a couple of TIE Fighters. Cue nergasm!

It's 88 new seconds of Star Wars that didn't include any of the old cast members, but Millennium Falcon for the win!

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